I didn't think I had a big problem with this battle. I don't like to lie. I try to be nice to people. I always work to make good decisions and do the 'RIGHT' thing. However, I am finding myself as a single person in this fallen world facing dilemmas and temptations that I never thought would be a problem.
I am not going to go into detail, especially since my mom and dad read this, but being single is lonely. There are temptations for single people that are not a problem for married people. It might sound easy to avoid, but believe me, I have tried and it's not so easy all the time. So, let's just say that I have been finding myself on the wrong side of temptation lately and that it is easy to justify, deny, omit, and figure out a way to be a Christian and do the right thing most of the time, all the while planning to do the wrong thing silently in your head.
I have never believed in spiritual warfare more than I do at this moment in my life. I feel like a wishbone being constantly pulled in two directions. I can feel a little devil on one shoulder tempting me constantly and at the same exact moment feel the Holy Spirit guiding me and leading me back to the what I know is God's truth. It is the most frustrating feeling I have ever felt, next to having to sit back and watch my kids go through hurt and mistakes and knowing I cannot do anything about it.
So, my faith must be in the Lord. I must rely on the scripture in the Holy Bible. I have to cling to this like it is a lifesaving raft, because for me, IT IS!
Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good pleasing, and perfect will. I have always liked this verse, but when you throw dating websites, risky adult literature marketed to women, movies, TV, and the general world view for singles and dating, it is especially meaningful and powerful to me right now.
Psalm 101:3 I will set before my eyes no vile (wicked) thing. This verse was brought to me by a dear friend who challenged me to keep myself from reading said books, watching movies, etc. I love her and hate this challenge at the same time. It is so hard!!!! I definitely feel I am being tested and I really, really want to pass the test. But, my humanness does not really want to pass the test. Ugh!
This next verse was sent to me directly from God himself. I was leaning toward the 'WRONG' side of the teeter totter one day when this verse came to my daily email. I have never heard God more loud and clear than that morning, but I still didn't really care for his sense of humor....
1 Thessalonians 4:7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 goes on to say.... Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his holy spirit. OUCH!!!!!!!
So, today there are 2 more verses that I am focusing on to help me with this internal battle I am fighting with RIGHT vs. WRONG.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. I know that if I did some of the things I am being tempted by, I would not be guarding my heart. Not only would God be grieving, I would be filled with regret and my heart would be broken for the sin that I allowed into it.
Last, but not least, I really don't like to be alone and I am very impatient. So, these two do not go well together......
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Okay God! I get it! I may be very stubborn and hard-headed, but I know what you are asking of me.
I don't think its ever going to be easy to resist temptation, but I do think that God does give us a way out when we just seek it. Please pray with me that I will seek His will and just wait..... And, thank you to those of you other singles who have shared your struggle with these issues with me. I am praying for all of us!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Technology: Friend or Foe???
Technology is an amazing thing. I laugh when I think about all the things we have now compared to when I was my teenage girls' age. I don't want to be one of those old people who say, "remember when.....", but here it goes anyway.... Remember when you got your first microwave in your house? Remember when you watched Michael Jackson's premiere of the video Thriller on MTV? Remember when MTV actually played music videos??? Remember Atari and Pong vido games? Remember when you got a "disc" video machine and thought you were so cool cause you could go rent those giant movies? Remember your mom and dad's first cell phone was a giant bag phone? Remember the first giant desktop computer you had that was super, super slow....?" Remember actually getting off the couch to go change the TV channel, or maybe even yelling up at your dad on the roof to adjust the antenna??? Ha! Man, I am aging as I type this! LOL
I love my DVR. I love texting. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I refuse to join Twitter. I am on Pinterest, but have never pinned a thing. I think I would literally be lost without my cell phone. I have a laptop. I have a Kindle. I want the new Iphone or Windows phone as soon as I can get it. I think technology can be a wonderful thing!!!
But, has it done the next generation an injustice? If we are the microwave/drive-thru generation, my kids are the entitled to have it "RIGHT NOW" generation. They wait for nothing. They have a friends answer at the speed of a text. Heck, they text me questions from the next room of our 1,000 sq ft apartment! They have google and ask.com on their smart phones. They can find out their grades on their school websites. If they miss their favorite TV show, they can stream it on their tablet. They don't even have to sit through pesky commercials, just fast forward through the DVR commercials!!!
Nobody makes phone calls anymore. Nobody answers emails anymore. You cannot communicate in this day and age if you don't have a Facebook account or unlimited texting. Sometimes this can be a good thing. We can request and receive prayers from friends and family around the country at the touch of a button. We can talk to a friend all day via text and never leave the house.
As much as this has made communication easier, what has technology done for "real" communication??? I think we should all take a few minutes to actually call our moms or a dear friend that we have only had text conversations with lately. I think we should write a letter and snail mail it (gasp!) to someone who needs an encouraging word. This is a challenge to myself today, as much as it is for you......
So, technology.....friend or foe??? That is the question I am sending out into the land known as the Internet via my blog today. Don't think that the irony has escaped me. Have a great day my technology bombarded friends!!!!
I love my DVR. I love texting. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I refuse to join Twitter. I am on Pinterest, but have never pinned a thing. I think I would literally be lost without my cell phone. I have a laptop. I have a Kindle. I want the new Iphone or Windows phone as soon as I can get it. I think technology can be a wonderful thing!!!
But, has it done the next generation an injustice? If we are the microwave/drive-thru generation, my kids are the entitled to have it "RIGHT NOW" generation. They wait for nothing. They have a friends answer at the speed of a text. Heck, they text me questions from the next room of our 1,000 sq ft apartment! They have google and ask.com on their smart phones. They can find out their grades on their school websites. If they miss their favorite TV show, they can stream it on their tablet. They don't even have to sit through pesky commercials, just fast forward through the DVR commercials!!!
Nobody makes phone calls anymore. Nobody answers emails anymore. You cannot communicate in this day and age if you don't have a Facebook account or unlimited texting. Sometimes this can be a good thing. We can request and receive prayers from friends and family around the country at the touch of a button. We can talk to a friend all day via text and never leave the house.
As much as this has made communication easier, what has technology done for "real" communication??? I think we should all take a few minutes to actually call our moms or a dear friend that we have only had text conversations with lately. I think we should write a letter and snail mail it (gasp!) to someone who needs an encouraging word. This is a challenge to myself today, as much as it is for you......
So, technology.....friend or foe??? That is the question I am sending out into the land known as the Internet via my blog today. Don't think that the irony has escaped me. Have a great day my technology bombarded friends!!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Finding My Voice Again!
Hello all! It has been 3 years since I have written on here. I guess you could say that I had writer's laryngitis. I had literally lost my voice.....
Last night our Wed. night women's bible study watched a short video of Patsy Clairmont talking about this subject of losing your voice. I think as women, we all sometimes lose our voice. She referenced Luke 13:10. This famous story is normally talked about as the day Jesus heals on the Sabbath. But, when you look at the woman he healed and really think about her story, like Patsy did, you see a whole new side to this scripture.
The verse talks about a woman that is bent over. The NIV says the woman was crippled by a spirit for 18 years. The Message suggests she has arthritis. She was off to the side trying not to draw attention to herself as Jesus walked by, but he saw her. Jesus does an amazing thing. He sees her and he touches her. In the NIV he says, "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity." The Message translates it as "Woman, you're free!" Then, it says my favorite part.....She stood straight and tall and gave glory to God.
Have you ever had a time where you wanted to hide? Where you couldn't speak because you were too hurt or full of grief? Did you feel bent over and burdened by this pain? Was your perspective of your situation small? Guess what? We all have been there.....
If you know me, you know that I have suffered from depression most of my life. It is worst during times of hardship and during the dreadful winter months. It is crippling. I hide myself away from friends and loved ones. (under warm covers preferably) And, all I can see is my poor, pitiful little problems and how nobody can help me. My voice is gone. I have a very small perspective of the world around me.
Last night watching this video, I totally related to every story Patsy told. And, I definitely relate to the woman in the scripture. I feel like a stranger all alone in a sea of people that should be friends. I feel invisible to the world when this thing called depression hits me.
******BUT THERE IS GOOD NEWS!!!******
Jesus saw the woman hunched over in the crowd. And, God sees YOU! He sees me. He sees my friend who is grieving. He sees my enemy who is feeling guilty. He sees my daughter who feels lost and sad and lonely. He sees us all!!!!!
JESUS SEES YOU! I got divorced just a little over 8 months ago. Almost a year ago, we made this decision mutually. It has been a hard year. There are times I felt depression coming on. I am not going to sit here and tell you that I am totally cured of depression. But, I am going to tell you this.... I have not taken depression medicine since July 2012. God saw me. He saw the broken girl in me. He noticed that I had lost my voice. He knew that I was bent over grieving the loss of the life I had and felt crippled with fear. He wanted me to stop looking at my world from such a small perspective.
God has literally touched me and helped me to stand up tall. He has given me my voice back. He has made me look at life from his perspective. I feel like that lady after Jesus touched her. It's almost as if last night, Jesus put his hand on my back and said, "Woman, you're free!" So, that is why I am back to blogging. I want to stand up and shout for all the world to hear that God loves us and give Him all the glory.
My prayer over the last few months has been for God to give me strength and wisdom and I continually tell Him that I need Him because I cannot be a single mom without His help. Everyday he does this for me. I could not stand tall and shout about how wonderful our God is without His daily help! (Think he will regret giving this girl her voice back???)
Last night our Wed. night women's bible study watched a short video of Patsy Clairmont talking about this subject of losing your voice. I think as women, we all sometimes lose our voice. She referenced Luke 13:10. This famous story is normally talked about as the day Jesus heals on the Sabbath. But, when you look at the woman he healed and really think about her story, like Patsy did, you see a whole new side to this scripture.
The verse talks about a woman that is bent over. The NIV says the woman was crippled by a spirit for 18 years. The Message suggests she has arthritis. She was off to the side trying not to draw attention to herself as Jesus walked by, but he saw her. Jesus does an amazing thing. He sees her and he touches her. In the NIV he says, "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity." The Message translates it as "Woman, you're free!" Then, it says my favorite part.....She stood straight and tall and gave glory to God.
Have you ever had a time where you wanted to hide? Where you couldn't speak because you were too hurt or full of grief? Did you feel bent over and burdened by this pain? Was your perspective of your situation small? Guess what? We all have been there.....
If you know me, you know that I have suffered from depression most of my life. It is worst during times of hardship and during the dreadful winter months. It is crippling. I hide myself away from friends and loved ones. (under warm covers preferably) And, all I can see is my poor, pitiful little problems and how nobody can help me. My voice is gone. I have a very small perspective of the world around me.
Last night watching this video, I totally related to every story Patsy told. And, I definitely relate to the woman in the scripture. I feel like a stranger all alone in a sea of people that should be friends. I feel invisible to the world when this thing called depression hits me.
******BUT THERE IS GOOD NEWS!!!******
Jesus saw the woman hunched over in the crowd. And, God sees YOU! He sees me. He sees my friend who is grieving. He sees my enemy who is feeling guilty. He sees my daughter who feels lost and sad and lonely. He sees us all!!!!!
JESUS SEES YOU! I got divorced just a little over 8 months ago. Almost a year ago, we made this decision mutually. It has been a hard year. There are times I felt depression coming on. I am not going to sit here and tell you that I am totally cured of depression. But, I am going to tell you this.... I have not taken depression medicine since July 2012. God saw me. He saw the broken girl in me. He noticed that I had lost my voice. He knew that I was bent over grieving the loss of the life I had and felt crippled with fear. He wanted me to stop looking at my world from such a small perspective.
God has literally touched me and helped me to stand up tall. He has given me my voice back. He has made me look at life from his perspective. I feel like that lady after Jesus touched her. It's almost as if last night, Jesus put his hand on my back and said, "Woman, you're free!" So, that is why I am back to blogging. I want to stand up and shout for all the world to hear that God loves us and give Him all the glory.
My prayer over the last few months has been for God to give me strength and wisdom and I continually tell Him that I need Him because I cannot be a single mom without His help. Everyday he does this for me. I could not stand tall and shout about how wonderful our God is without His daily help! (Think he will regret giving this girl her voice back???)
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